Blog for Engineering Managers

Blog for Engineering Managers

#22 | Sunday reads for EMs

My favourite reads of the week to make your Sunday a little more inspiring.

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Stephane Moreau
Nov 16, 2025
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👋 Hey, it’s Stephane. This is a new series in which every Sunday I share with you my favourite reads of the week. To accelerate your growth see: 50 Notion Templates | The EM’s Field Guide | CodeCrafters | Get Hired as an EM | 1:1 Coaching

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Strategy, not self-expression: How to decide what to say when giving feedback

tl;dr: Before giving feedback, ask yourself “Is this strategy or self-expression?” Strategy means only saying the 10% that will actually change behavior, everything else (venting, proving you’re right, making them feel remorse) goes in the self-expression bucket. Mentally forgive the person first, identify what will motivate them specifically, then say only what advances behavior change.

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