#34 | Sunday reads for EMs

My favourite reads of the week to make your Sunday a little more inspiring.

Feb 08, 2026

👋 Hey, it’s Stephane. This is a new series in which every Sunday I share with you my favourite reads of the week. To accelerate your growth see: 50 Notion Templates | The EM’s Field Guide | CodeCrafters | Get Hired as an EM | 1:1 Coaching

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First, Agree on the Tradeoffs (Jade Rubick)

tl;dr: Most technical disagreements stall because people are arguing positions, not evaluating tradeoffs. Force at least three options (teams almost never explore the solution space enough on their own), get everyone to explicitly agree on the tradeoffs between them, then decide. Aligning on tradeoffs shifts people from advocacy mode into analytical mode and you get genuine buy-in almost for free because people feel heard before the decision is even made.

People Frameworks (Mike Fisher)

tl;dr: When things go wrong, leaders default to character explanations (”they didn’t care enough”) because they’re fast and emotionally satisfying, but they’re almost always wrong. Ask “what constraints made success difficult?” instead of “what’s wrong with this person?”. Underperformers almost always already know they’re struggling - your job isn’t to deliver the news, it’s to close the gap between what “good” looks like and what’s blocking them.

Should You Include Engineers in Your Leadership Meetings? (Will Larson)

tl;dr: Larson has had senior ICs in his top leadership meetings for six years and considers it transformative. Have a few of your most senior engineers report directly to the CTO/HoE, include them in all discussions (yes, including the managerial ones), and hold everyone to the same trust standards. The biggest payoff is that managers can’t get away with “managing the stuff around reality” when the people who write the software are in the room. It also creates a second information propagation channel that bypasses any managers who aren’t communicating well.

How to Coach Your Team Without Making Them Defensive (Wes Kao)

tl;dr: Swap “you are X” for “you come across as X” when giving feedback. It’s a small language change but it’s hard to argue with someone sharing their perception vs. someone claiming to know who you are.

Look for What’s True (Patrick Dubroy)

tl;dr: When you get critical feedback that feels unfair, instead of building your rebuttal, ask: “what’s the kernel of truth here?” The author nearly drafted a rebuttal email after getting called out by a Principal Engineer, then discovered this simple reframe that defuses the emotional reaction and lets you actually learn from it.