Your "Open Door" policy is pretty useless
And probably promotes the opposite of what you think.
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Let’s be honest: You probably think you’re being helpful when you say, “Anyone can come talk to me. I’m always open to feedback.”
But I need to tell you.. that’s not working.
It sounds good. It feels generous. But it’s doing a lot less than you think.
Let me walk you through why.
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So let’s go back to that “open door”.
You’re working on an initiative with another EM. You’re excited about it. Maybe you’ve even mentioned that you’re happy to hear ideas from the team.
And you mean it. You really do.
But then… nothing. Crickets.
You start thinking:
“I said I was open to input. No one came to me. I guess they’re not that interested.”
The reality: they didn’t come to you because your door’s not really open.
You’re making them having to do the work
Put yourself in their shoes.
If someone on your team wants to speak up, here’s what they have to do:
Make sure their idea is “good enough” to be worth your time
Try and find some time to schedule a meeting on your impossible calendar
Hope the timing’s right and you’re not in decision-mode already
Risk looking like they’re stepping on your toes
That’s a lot of effort just to give input.
You might not see that - but they feel it.
And if they don’t push through all of that, you tell yourself: “Well, they could’ve talked to me if they really wanted to.”
Does that actually feel fair?
Want input? Go get it!
If you really want their thoughts, if you want them involved, then it’s on you to pull that input out.
Not wait for it. Not hope it shows up.
Pull it.
That means:
You ping them directly: “Hey, I’m working on X - mind giving me your advice?”
You message in the team’s slack channel: “Here’s the current plan. What’s missing? Please tell me what I’m not seeing.”
You send a short Loom or message: “Here’s what I’m planning. I would love to hear your thoughts?”
No friction. No pressure.
Just you making it really easy for them to care.
The power dynamic is real
You might think you’re approachable. You might even feel like you’re just another voice in the room.
But you’re not.
You’re the manager. Or the staff engineer. Or the product manager.
Your role changes the vibe.
People filter what they say around you. They hesitate. They don’t want to sound critical or naive or wrong.
So when you say “come talk to me”, it doesn’t land the way you think.
If you want honest input, you’ve got to go first.
Stop saying “my door is always open”
Instead, try this:
“I’m trying to improve this - would love your eyes on it.”
“You’ve got context on this that I don’t. Can we chat for 10 minutes?”
“I’ve asked a couple other folks for feedback. Want to be the third?”
That’s not passive. That’s you inviting them in - clearly, personally, and with intent.
You’re not “available.”
You’re asking. You’re listening. You’re showing that their voice matters.
If you want help, go get it.
If you want feedback, make it safe.
If you want the team to care, you have to show that you care first.
That’s all, folks!
See you in the next one,
~ Stephane
This is a great succinct idea and something that never occurred to me yet. Thanks for bringing this perspective.
Reading this made me realize how easy it is to say “my door is open” without really making others feel welcome.
I learned that if you want honest feedback or ideas, you need to reach out directly and create a safe space.
Just being available isn’t enough. You have to invite people in and show you genuinely care.
Thank you for sharing this insightful post, Stephane!