Your rants are "honestly" hurting you
Complaining does not mean being transparent.
đ Hey, itâs Stephane. I share lessons, and stories from my journey to help you lead with confidence as an Engineering Manager. To accelerate your growth see: 50 Notion Templates | The EMâs Field Guide | CodeCrafters | Get Hired as an EM | 1:1 Coaching
Paid subscribers get 50 Notion Templates, The EMâs Field Guide, and access to the complete archive. Subscribe now.
Your team doesnât need to hear your spicy takes on every leadership decision.
You might think you're being open. They think you're being unhinged.
That "honest rant" you just had in the team meeting mightâve been your real thoughts but your team might perceive it as: âLeadership is lost, and my manager is spirallingâ.
And now your engineers are stuck wondering if the work theyâre doing even matters.
You donât have to like it - you still have to support it
You are not going to like every decision, but you need to know when and how to challenge a decision and when to get behind it anyway.
And no, that doesn't make you a corporate shill. That is part of your role.
Letâs say senior leadership decides to cut a feature you and your team spent a sprint building. You're frustrated. Totally fair. Maybe even furious. But you still have a choice in how you show up:
You can walk into standup and say:
âSenior Leadership doesnât know what the hell theyâre doing. Sorry, I know this sucks.âOr you can say:
âPlans changed. This featureâs paused, and hereâs why. Letâs talk through what that means and whatâs next.â
Same facts. Totally different impact.
You can push back. Just not in public.
Thereâs a place to fight back. It's in one-on-ones with your manager. In private group chats with peers. In those rooms where the trade-offs are actually being debated and you can influence change.
Your team isnât that room.
They might not have full context. They likely can't influence the decision. All they get is your negativity, without any control or path forward.
Thatâs not honest leadership. Thatâs you not managing your feelings and emotional reaction.
The problem with âjust being honestâ
We tell ourselves itâs about integrity. About keeping it real.
I want to be able to be my real self at work. If I donât like something I need to say it.
More often than not, itâs about something else: validation. Venting. Wanting the team to say, âYeah, youâre right. This is dumb. Youâre not the problem.â
Except thatâs not their job.
Your team isnât there to make you feel better.
When you rant, what youâre really doing is offloading your discomfort onto people who canât do anything with it.
And letâs be honest: if your engineers started trashing every design decision in public, would you call that transparency?
How to share your feedback
You donât have to pretend everythingâs great all the time. Thatâs not leadership either. The goal is measured honesty. Signal without spiraling.
Hereâs how to do that:
1. Process before you speak
If you just heard a decision that pissed you off, donât turn around and announce it five minutes later. Take an hour. Take a walk. Vent in your journal.
But do not default to sharing your raw, unfiltered reaction.
Youâre paid to be thoughtful under pressure.
2. Share facts, not feelings
Tell your team whatâs happening. Share what you know. Be clear about whatâs next.
But keep your opinions in check, especially if theyâre still half-baked.
You can say, âWeâll learn more next weekâ. You can say, âItâs frustrating to pivot this late, but I think we can pull it offâ. Just donât say, âThis whole thing is stupid and I hate itâ.
Even if you do.
3. Give your team what they can control
Redirect focus:
What can we do next?
What questions should we be asking?
How do we protect our teamâs energy and momentum?
Lead them toward action.
4. Use private channels to push back
If you truly think the decision is bad, escalate. Ask questions. Offer alternatives. But do it where it actually matters.
You wonât earn points for grandstanding in public. You will earn trust by quietly fixing broken decisions behind the scenes.
What happens when you get this wrong
When you turn every leadership choice into a rant opportunity:
You confuse your team.
You make them question the value of their work.
You make yourself look unstable, disloyal, or both.
You invite gossip, disengagement, and learned helplessness.
And when the next big change comes theyâll remember how you handled the last one. If you lost it then, why should they trust you now?
Be the calm, not the chaos
Your team needs one thing more than anything in turbulent times: a steady voice.
Not a fake-happy one. Not a doormat. Just someone whoâs got their back, who filters the noise, and who brings clarity when things are messy.
Thatâs your job.
You can still be honest.
Just stop mistaking your venting for openness, transparency and honesty.
Thatâs all, folks!
See you in the next one,
~ Stephane
PS. Now this is proper Front End Honesty đ




Great article. Thank you.
Excellent advice