You're not as clear as you think you are

The gap between what you said and what they heard.

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You’ve had this experience. You gave someone feedback. Clear, specific feedback. And then three weeks later, you watched them make the exact same mistake.

“But I told them” you think. “I was direct about it.”

Were you, though?

I’ve spent years watching leaders, including myself, convince themselves they’re straight shooters while their actual communication lands somewhere between “vaguely suggestive” and “completely unclear”. The gap between how direct we think we are and how direct we actually are is actually massive.

You soften the message

Here’s what happens in most conversations where someone needs to hear something hard:

You p…